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In This Issue:
Masthead
Editor Kirsty Cameron
Chief Subeditor Geoff Cumming
Managing Editor Ruth Brown
Art Director Derek Ward
Books Editor Mark Broatch
Entertainment & Arts Editor Russell Baillie
Digital Editor Dionne Christian
Content Producer Louise Barnes
Subeditors Richard Betts, Patrice Gaffaney, Bevan Rapson
Senior Designer Richard Kingsford
Editorial contact listener@aremedia.co.nz
Contributors this issue: Richard Betts, Jennifer Bowden, Steve Braunias, Helena Wiśniewska Brow, Russell Brown, Greg Bruce, Diana Clement, Jane Clifton, Michael Cooper, Anthony Ellison, Peter Grace, Peter Griffin, Charlotte Grimshaw, Michele Hewitson, Jonathan Kronstadt, Paul Little, Danyl McLauchlan, Graham Reid, Nicholas Reid, Chris Schulz, Chris Slane, Sarah Watt, Marc Wilson
Chief Executive Officer Jane Huxley
General Manager Stuart Dick
Editorial Director Sarah Henry
Head of Digital Melissa Walsh
Senior Digital Content Producer Katie Delany
Sales Director Claire Chisholm
Senior Account Managers Amy Madden…
The bonkers generation
Consider me, a primary school teacher, your canary in the coalmine: kids have officially become bonkers. I teach in a fairly middle-of-the-road primary with a cross section of cultures, but since returning to teaching in 2018, and especially in the past few years, it seems our tamariki are direct casualties of our increasingly mad world.
Our playground teems with kids constantly screaming. They scream whenever the bell goes. When they’re chasing each other. At the merest hint of rain. When sitting side-by-side scoffing sandwiches.
They’re screaming and running pell-mell, full-tilt, willy-nilly; tearing up the mobility ramps, howling along narrow pathways, bowling around corners with nary a care, toppling Year Zeros like skittles in their wake. Roving adults are merely mobile cones around which to weave, never mind if they’re cradling…
Painful pinch point
I have been living with migraines for 25 years (“All in the head”, October 11). My migraines are unpredictable and exhausting, affecting every part of life, most importantly, parenting. The available treatment that could make a real difference costs $4225 a year.
This is totally unaffordable for me. I have recently been made redundant and I am raising a toddler on my own. The choice I face is to continue to endure debilitating pain daily, with all the personal and professional costs that come with it, or place myself and my family under extreme financial strain. This is not just about comfort – it is about being able to live a functional life, to parent effectively and to participate in society.
I urge decision-makers to consider the human impact of…
Quips & Quotes
“So now Trump is focused on winning the prize next year. Which is fine! Keep trying to make peace! I’m fine with coming up with prizes and trophies to motivate him. Give him the Nobel Reopen the Government and Leave Healthcare Alone prize.” “I saw Charlie Kirk today. He was riding on a horse with Jesus. Jesus has given Charlie a horse ranch.” “Given the opportunity and perhaps when the old man, my father, has finished his time in Parliament, most certainly I’d be ready to step up to the plate.” “Being the progressive change mayor – that does bring a lot of negativity.” “Kia kaha tātou and let’s fix our whare so we can roll this blardy government.” “Communication must be freed from the misguided thinking that corrupts it,…
10 Quick Questions
1. The Laurie O’Reilly Cup is a trophy competed for by the women’s rugby teams of New Zealand and which country?
❑ South Africa
❑ Australia
❑ England
❑ France
2. How many Kiwis over 30 are estimated to have high blood pressure?
❑ One in 10
❑ One in eight
❑ One in five
❑ One in three
3. Which word has the original meaning of “the reunion of broken parts”?
❑ Syzygy
❑ Vinculum
❑ Lemma
❑ Algebra
4. In the waters of which country is the Strait of Messina?
❑ Greece
❑ Italy
❑ Indonesia
❑ India
5. A “kei” car in Japan is what?
❑ Electric
❑ Oversized
❑ Small
❑ Sports
6. Kashyyyk is a planet in the Star Wars movie series that’s home to…
Ready to govern? Yeah, nah
There’s a certain style of left-wing movement – epitomised by the Greens and Te Pāti Māori – that wants more from politics than merely changing the government. They want to change politics itself. This requires an experimental phase as they try out alternatives to the mainstream parties they hope to replace. What does this new party believe? Who runs it? Who are its friends and enemies? Te Pāti M āori is suffering through a very public and messy attempt to answer these questions.
During the Tāmaki Makaurau by-election, Te Tai Tonga MP Tākuta Ferris attacked the ethnic diversity of Labour’s campaign team via a social media post: “This blows my mind!! Indians, Asians, Black and Pākehā campaigning to take a Māori seat from Māori.” This seems to have either triggered…
Nostalgic for normalcy
You learn all kinds of new stuff when you have a front-row seat to creeping authoritarianism.
I now know, for example, that what I’d long taken for a natural law – that you cannot get sacked from a federal government job, of which there were once many around here – is as unnatural as hell. I know lots of folk who either retired rather than be shoved into paper-pushing corners, got DOGEd or are hanging on in agencies that have either been almost fully emptied and/or populated with politicos whose prime directive is to destroy everything they can reach.
I also now know that it’s illegal to drive a commercial vehicle on National Park Service land. I read about park police setting up checkpoints and pulling over commercial vehicles and…
The one last song
My late brother and I lived in different cities, and we tended to have long and hectic phone conversations. Often, he talked and I listened, and many of his thoughts were about music. One day, he was imagining the best song to send at the end of a relationship. When hope was lost and all was ruined, what would be the perfect song to mark the finale?
I had questions. Would it be just one song? How would it be sent? If it went via WhatsApp, should there be an accompanying instruction to listen through quality headphones? You wouldn’t want it coming out all tinny from the phone. What if there was an inappropriate video? Would that create a distraction?
His tone was typical, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, yet serious, too. He…
Scents and sensibilities
It’s easy to mock when people in the grip of identity crises try ludicrously corny comforts like Harley-
Davidsons, Botox and obsessive marathon running. It turns out countries’ identity crises can be no less absurd.
France, suffering prolonged political instability and a troubling breakdown of long-treasured culinary traditions, has resorted to a croissant-scented postage stamp.
Disregarding the decline of snail mail and the naffness of scratch-and-sniff gimmickry, the French post office has issued 600,000-plus stamps featuring a croissant au beurre, smelling of butter, vanilla and general boulangerie ambience. La Poste has stated in all seriousness that it hopes this will unite the nation.
It certainly makes the resignation and near-immediate reinstatement of the latest (at press time, anyway) French Prime Minister seem less wacky.
But the stamp is also a…
Neighbour at war
Psycho has left the building. I write in the front room of my home in the desirable postcode of 1011 and look out over the fence to an empty house. Crown Removals came and took him away. Everyone expected it would be the cops. He was trouble, a rogue elephant gone mad among the Teslas and the Bentleys parked all along the length of the street – they’re just the runabouts, their best cars are in garages. We peered through our venetian blinds and saw him make his last stand. Texts were exchanged all along the length of the street. We were witnessing history.
Psycho was an unfortunate name but he lived up to it. Very many streets have a neighbour at war, an unruly resident, a bomb at the…
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